Worm Feelings

My girlfriend and I broke up, and I want to move on, but she keeps trying to talk to me. I finally told her that we cannot talk anymore. She said that if I'm unwilling to talk to her, it means that we never had a relationship at all. I feel bad that she's hurting, so I pick up the phone sometimes, but I have nothing to say, and I'm weary of the drama.

--Finished

There comes a time in a man's life when he's so desperate to be abducted by aliens that he goes to Roswell and tries hitchhiking: "Yer galaxy or bust!" But don't stick your ex with all the blame. After all, nothing says "I never want to speak to you again" like picking up the phone to have yet another conversation about it. Talking probably seems kind, but giving her what she wants in the short term is cruel in the long term because it gives her hope -- and reason to call back. Answer one last call. Tell her only that you will no longer be answering her calls and that you need to move on. If, somehow, she sneakily gets through, gently reiterate that message and immediately hang up. Sure, it's a stock plot of chick flicks, a girl annoying a guy into loving her. Unfortunately, if this were a movie, it would be the sort shot by your doctor using a tiny snaking camera, with your girlfriend typecast as the polyp.