Wishful Finking

A woman I ran into mentioned an affair she had with a man we both know and revealed that he's had many affairs with different women over the past five years. This man's wife is a friend. (We teach at the same school.) Do I tell her about her philandering husband?

--Disturbed

The average wife doesn't snoop through her husband's cellphone history because she has a funny feeling that he's got three other families in three other states or that he's a weekend serial killer who dresses up as a clown. But, the possibility that a husband might cheat has to cross every wife's mind. Although a whole lot of wives would want to be told, don't assume that of all wives. If this guy is having serial affairs, he's probably leaving serial evidence -- or at least some evidence. Maybe for this wife, the most comfortable sex position is "head in the sand." Avoid setting yourself up as the cheating husband news agency unless you know her pretty well -- well enough to know whether their marital arrangement is the traditional "Forsake all others..." or "Forsake all others except on Tuesdays when the EconoLodge has a really good deal."