Wife Of The Party

My wife has a big family, getting bigger all the time. Not only do they celebrate numerous holidays, but they have birthday parties for everyone (adults and little children). This averages out to about two gatherings a month. While we were dating, she said not to feel obligated to attend family events that didn't appeal to me, but now she's very upset if I want to do something else.

--Overbooked

Some people get fat after marriage; some people get family. There's been some event attendance bait and switch here. While you were dating, it was "Don't feel obligated," now it's "Don't think you have a choice." There needs to be some point of compromise between your wife's family culture and your happiness. Maybe you show up for major holidays and events (as much as you'd rather be fishing, golfing, or dead), but maybe the 5-year-old's birthday can still be a happy affair without you suffering through it. Then again, consider whether the potential aftermath is worse -- going to pick up your wife and having the birthday boy present you with a set of oddly shaped balloon animals: "This one's you, Uncle Charlie, escaping out our bathroom window, and this one's Aunt Gloria, refusing to have sex with you ever again."