Whistle While You Weep!

My boyfriend and I just ended our relationship and are trying to heal and move on. This is difficult because we not only work together but are in the same building and on the same research team. I love my job and feel lucky to have it, so moving on to another workplace isn't the answer.

--Blasted With The Past

It's hard to maintain a veneer of professionalism when the plant's loudspeaker pages you, "Employee #442, Employee #440 is drunk-dialing you on extension 2." Unfortunately, it's easy to end up in that situation when you don't have the usual benefit of a breakup, which typically involves separating once and for all, not every day at the end of the workday. Give yourself concrete reinforcement that it's over by writing down five reasons you don't belong together, and help yourself compartmentalize at work by drawing a line down a piece of paper and listing the appropriate behaviors for "Together" vs. "Just work together." Because research finds that ritual is highly effective in helping people assimilate change (and because it'll probably be comforting to have a cackle with a couple of friends), maybe have a "funeral" for your relationship and "bury" a few symbolic items from it in the nearest Dumpster. That probably sounds a bit wacky, but acting like the relationship is dead and gone and you're moving on should help you do just that. According to British psychologist Dr. Richard Wiseman, author of "The As If Principle," numerous studies suggest that "the easiest, quickest and most effective" way to change your thinking isn't by thinking about it but by acting "as if" you're the person you want to be -- in your case, the person who's managed to demote one of her co-workers from soulmate to paperweight.