Wait Problem

This guy texts and FaceTimes me daily, and he finally asked me out. I was expecting a date, but it was a group dinner in his friend's backyard, and he didn't make a move all evening. I was sure he was into me, and we're both fully vaccinated. What's his deal?

--Confused

Sexually, if your date is a total animal, you'd prefer it not be the sort that gets bungeed to the hood of a hunter's station wagon. The underlying problem here is "information asymmetry," which Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz explains as "Different people know different things." (Asymmetry is simply a lack of symmetry, sameness: disproportion between parts of something, including unequally available information.) Information asymmetry is an element of "signaling theory," an area of economics that looks at the ways people behave -- flowing from the decisions they make -- because of the information they have (or lack). In this situation, you know you want the guy to end the evening all mwah-mwah-makeout, but his mind might be filled with a bunch of bouncing question marks about whether you're into him. It's also possible he realized he's just not that into you, he wants to take things slowly, or he's generally timid about making moves on women (or especially so in hopes of avoiding #himtoo). What ends the asymmetric information stalemate? Information! Send signals revealing the information you have that he does not: "I'M INTO YOU AND WANT YOU TO MAKE A MOVE!" Flirting is the ideal way to communicate this, as it gives each of you an ego cushion -- the ability to pretend it doesn't mean what it seems to mean -- that putting it out there in plain words does not. Powerful forms of flirting include: looking into his eyes while you talk, touching him, playing with your hair, and playing with your clothes or his. Err on the side of flirting heavily -- way more than seems reasonable -- because men can be a bit hint-blind. His getting this information is likely to push him into action -- or tell you he's gotta bow out. But maybe consider being a little bit patient. It was one date! My guess? Life mirrored art: those rom coms where the "nice guy" wants to kiss the girl at the door, but -- whoa! There go his testicles, leaping out of his pants and going off to hide in the bushes, and he gives her a handshake goodnight. ... For pages and pages of "science-help" from me, buy my latest book, "Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence." It lays out the PROCESS of transforming to live w/confidence.