The Girl With The Draggin' Tattoo

I'm a 38-year-old single man. There's this very pretty, very nice female trainer I see at my gym. I'd ask her out except that she has a huge tattoo of a diamond on her neck. Ugh. Total deal breaker. If it were a hidden tattoo (leg, hip, etc.), I'd deal. But I just can't imagine myself or any guy bringing a girl with a huge neck tat home to meet the parents. Why would a woman do this?

--Hate Ink

A tattoo is a flesh billboard -- one that sends different messages to different people. For example, there are those tattoos Westerners get in Chinese, which are sometimes deeply profound ancient sayings, such as "Lost ticket pays full day rate for parking." Tattoos are now more socially acceptable than ever. Three in 10 Americans have them, according to a 2015 Harris Poll. As for why, people often explain their tattoo or tattoos as a celebration or remembrance of something: "And there was my Everclear era in my early 20s -- memorialized by this 'No regerts' tattoo." However, evolutionary researcher Haley Dillon and her colleagues reviewed findings from cross-cultural research on tattooing and concluded that there are two main underlying motivations (subconscious evolved motivations) for people to go all human canvas. People get tats as symbols -- interestingly, of either group membership or individuality or both. And they do it as a form of "costly signaling" -- advertising to others that they are so crazy-healthy that they don't need to worry about the health risks (which include bacterial infection and death, a rare serious bummer). Each of these underlying motivations is what's called a "fitness display," promoting a tattooee's excellence as a mate or cooperator, which should ultimately enhance their chances of reproductive success. Well, that's the idea, anyway. You happen to favor virgin neck, which can lead to some awkwardness in asking a woman out: "Hey, can I treat you to dinner sometime -- followed by two years of laser tattoo removal?"