The Gift That Keeps On Giving You The Creeps

For my birthday, my 26-year-old girlfriend (of five weeks) gave me an "Alice In Wonderland" decorative plate. I'm a 33-year-old man, and I couldn't fathom why she thought I'd like it. I simply did NOT want to display that thing but knew she'd expect to see it whenever she came over. Feeling trapped, I gently confessed that it was more her taste than mine and suggested we keep it at her place. She immediately broke up with me. What happened here?

--Sad But Unrepentant

A gift for a romantic partner is a way to tell them, "I get who you are." Apparently, you're a 78-year-old lady with room in your curio cabinet next to your hatpin collection. Nothing against white rabbits with pocket watches and hookah-smoking caterpillars, but what woman buys this for any man who does not moonlight as a gay British country decorator with a love of whimsy? She may just be wildly clueless, but giving somebody an aggressively wrong gift can be an aggressive act. (Was this some twisted test -- maybe to see how moldable you are?) Whatever her reason, this didn't need to end with the Queen of Hearts yelling, "Off with his head!" (although you're probably ultimately lucky it did). Gifting gone wrong, like other relationship misfires, is an opportunity to get a better sense of who your partner is and what is right for them. And an emotionally balanced woman could see it that way -- bad as she might feel that she's gotten you a gift that begs for you to reciprocate on her birthday with a Tiffany's box containing a Peyton Manning bobblehead.