The Carpal Tunnel Of Love

I'm a screenwriter with a job-job, so the early morning is the only time I have to write. When my girlfriend stays over, she'll come in and start talking to me as I'm trying to work. I love her and don't want her to feel ignored, but these interruptions really pull me out of my thoughts.

--Scribe

Writing and solitude tend to go together. Just think about it: Where was Thoreau's girlfriend? Bottom of the pond? Writing often looks dignified in movies, but in real life, it's a grubby business that tends to involve some sobbing into the keyboard and humiliating attempts to bribe God in exchange for a working plot twist. In between, however, there are moments of what's called "flow," a term by psychologist Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describing the blissfully productive state where you get so single-mindedly immersed in some activity that time and everything else fall away. Interruptions, no matter how well-meaning, are the death of flow, and not exactly fantastic for lesser states of concentration, either. Explain this to your girlfriend so she can understand that your need for solitude isn't a form of rejection and that, when you're writing, the sweetest and most supportive thing she can do is act like she's not speaking to you (but without the door slammings and mumblings of "remorseless turd!" that usually come with). Block out a few hours in the morning as "do not disturb" time (which she should feel free to ignore whenever she catches fire). And when you aren't blackening pages, maybe make an effort to be extra-affectionate in addition to expressing appreciation for her support. This should help keep her from feeling bad and acting out, and you, in turn, from rebelling against any such rebellion and, say, revising your pet name for her from "Sugarbooger" to "Writer's Block."