Swept Off Her Feed

I've been dating a woman for three months, but told her that I don't ever see getting serious with her. Initially, she seemed fine with keeping things casual, but lately, she's been teasing me, asking how long we have to date before I change my Facebook relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship." Hers says "single," but I get the feeling that if I changed mine, she'd change hers pronto.

--Socially Networked

This friend of a friend of a friend "friended" me on Facebook. Okay, fine, I friended him back. A few days later, barely awake, I signed on Facebook to the announcement "Josh Fakename is in an open relationship." Don't know the guy, never met the guy, but at least I don't have to wonder whether he's having sex with multiple partners. Welcome to the Too Much Information Age. People sign up for Facebook or start blogging and tweeting without giving much thought to what their personal privacy policy will be. Because a button exists for them to give out information, they go ahead and do it. But, this isn't the doctor's office, where keeping secrets can cause death or other serious side effects. Facebook is a cesspool of ill-advised revelations, with some privacy settings, and just like in an arrest, you have the right to remain silent, and should probably use it more often than not. You've already informed your, uh, insignificant other of your relationship status. If your feelings are unlikely to change, gently make that known so she doesn't hang around nursing false hope. While you're at it, you might change your relationship status on Facebook to the default -- not yet filled out. In the future, you can provide it on a need-to-know basis, like when the dinner party host wonders if there's a plus-one, and when you're ordering at Starbucks: "I'll have a tall Americano and my life partner here will have a grande mocha with whip."