Splendor In The Crash

My boyfriend recently got laid off and lost a bunch of money in stocks. Yesterday, feeling blue, he said, "Can't anything good happen for me?" (Gee, thanks. Guess I'm nothing good.) I know he's talking about financial and career stuff, but we have something pretty special together. Why is he focusing on the bad stuff and not appreciating the good? Money isn't everything.

--Undervalued

A guy likes to have a way to buy his woman dinner that doesn't involve a ski mask and a sawed-off shotgun. No, money isn't everything, but that can be difficult to remember while panicking that you'll soon be raiding the market share of the wino on the corner begging for change. Also, because women evolved to go for men with status (a cue for the ability to provide) and men coevolved to recognize this, it can be especially hard on a man when his career trajectory goes from riches to rags. However, emotions are -- at root -- behavior management tools, and the feel-bad that comes with a loss in status pushes a man to go out and get a new job and make new investments. Without that motivation, that couch in Grandma's basement can start looking like an extremely attractive place to be from 9 to 5. And 5 to 9: "Yo, Gram, can you throw down another bag of Doritos?" What you can do is be fierce in telling your boyfriend why you believe in him and about all the things you respect and admire in him (especially those that employers will also respect and admire). This is the sort of "appreciating the good" that he needs -- especially if he gets to the point where he's driving a brand-new Tesla but only until he gets a $2 tip for bringing it back to the guy who owns it.