Sloshed In Translation

I'm a man who was deeply disturbed by your advice for "Not A Player" to "get some drinks in a girl" as a way to make moves on her. For my job, I took a class on preventing sexual assault, and learned that most sexual assaults include alcohol use by the assailant or victim. Your advice normalized the calculated use of alcohol in dating. I'm hoping you'll rethink this and run a correction.

--Frustrated Reader

I wrote, "Get some drinks in a girl, then casually touch her arm a few times," not "casually rape her in the alley." The guy signed himself "Not A Player" because he has all the mojo of a lost kitten. My worry wasn't that he'd date rape the girl, but that he'd end the evening by giving her a little wave and running away. Yes, alcohol is often involved in sexual assaults. A knife can be used to cut an apple or mug your granny. People don't do bad things because they have access to a particular substance or implement, but because they're people who do bad things. I didn't invent the use of alcohol in dating, and I don't write as if people reading me are stupid. Countless people drink on dates every day without any need for prosecutor involvement. They do exactly what this guy needs to do: Have a couple beers with a girl so he'll have the guts to kiss her, and so she'll be relaxed enough to be kissed (and by "relaxed" I mean so she's giggly, not so she's unconscious).