Sigh Tunes

Am I the only one who doesn't like to have music playing during sex? When I'm with a guy, I'm turned on by hearing his breathing and sounds he makes while aroused. If the music's good, I'll be listening to it rather than paying attention to him or my own arousal. If the music's bad, I don't want to hear it at all. I'm seeing a new guy, and I'm already worried that he'll play some annoying pop music when we get intimate. Plus, if he needs music, I'll think, "Well, am I boring you?"

--Audibly Distracted

Responding to this question on Reddit, "What is the absolute worst song to play during sex?" Redditor 5secsofpleasure posted, "Hi, I'm Sarah McLachlan, and I'm about to kill your erection." Though for many people the right music can be a real sex enhancer, there can be tragic accidents, like when a guy doesn't realize that he got sloppy in pulling together his HSP (Hot Sex Playlist) and the dogs barking "Jingle Bells" play at exactly the wrong moment. Regarding your suspicion that a guy would only put on a soundtrack because he finds sex with you a bore, you're probably just falling prey to a common cognitive bias -- the assumption that other people's minds work just like our own. You simply need to make your preference known before any clothing goes flying. Maybe start talking about music and casually mention that you don't understand why some people like to listen to music during sex -- such a distraction. The guy will probably nod offhandedly, but in his brain, a tiny stenographer from the sex department will be feverishly taking notes. As for any worries you may have that this will turn a guy off, trust me; there probably isn't a guy out there who won't find the musical silence during sex preferable to the sound of you sitting with your arms folded on the couch.