Senior Momentum

Since I've been online dating, I've noticed a shocking trend: old men hitting me up for dates. I'm 24, and my profile states that I'm seeking men ages 24 through 35. Yet men my father's age and a few close to my grandfather's have "winked" at me and asked me out. Gross. Men this old never approach me in "real life." Why do they do it online?

--Icked Out

When you're 24, an "older man" is probably 36, not somebody who used to enjoy "long walks on the beach" but now enjoys long walks to the salad bar. (If you listen closely, you can hear his pacemaker.) An old dude who hits on you may have a distorted sense of his attractiveness (charming at any age). He may think that if he can just get you out on a date, his timeless sex appeal will make you go deaf when the waitress offers him the senior citizen discount. And who knows...maybe you're looking for a sugar grandpa. Doesn't hurt to ask! Well, not nearly as much as if the old coot were doing it while looking down your cleavage at Starbucks: "Hey, baby, I could tell you stories about the days before voicemail." Online, however, you and the other 3,126 young chickies he hits on will probably just delete him. But, there's always that chance that one will be drunk, crazy, or desperate enough (in his mind, smart, insightful, and adventurous enough) to meet him and see that he looks not a day over 40...in the right light. (Unfortunately, the right light would be near-pitch darkness 20 years ago.)