Romeo Must Dial

I'm online dating, and I'm uncomfortable giving my number out, probably because I'm reluctant to give a stranger several ways to access me. Also, I consider myself a good judge of character, and phone calls don't reveal as much as seeing a man's mannerisms, body language, etc. I like to get to know a man through emails and then meet and, if the chemistry is there, open myself up to calls. This arrangement seemed fine until today, when it was greatly stressed that a phone conversation would help the process along.

--Woman On Hold

A person's nonverbal expressions can tell you many things -- whether they're tense, angry, socially awkward -- but probably not everything you need to know: "Uh-oh...that's the posture of a man with human remains in his freezer." Understandably, you're grasping for control and privacy -- probably because you give up much of both in online dating. But, consider the ridiculousness: You're standing firm on telephonic privacy after posting your picture and hopes and dreams like you're a pair of shoes for sale on eBay. And you actually don't need to "give a stranger several ways to access (you)"; just explain that you aren't comfortable giving out your number, and ask for his. Use caller ID blocking to keep your number from being displayed (dial *67 before dialing his number), or call from Skype. It's good to be cautious, but in all probability this man's asking for your number to see whether meeting you seems worth an hour of his time, not because it's the first step in coming to your home and torturing you for days. There ultimately may be torture involved, but probably not the kind they write screaming headlines about: "Woman Has Coffee with Man from Dating Site; Dies a Little on the Inside During Their 37 Minutes Together."