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APPLIED SCIENCE EXPERT AMY ALKON
Empowering you through science for your best health and boldest life
Regression Toward The Meanie
Bluejean Baby
My girlfriend of three months seems to relish treating me like her narcissistic psycho ex-boyfriend treated her -- constantly pulling away and basically putting her on an emotional rollercoaster. She brings up her ex in almost every conversation, although I've asked her not to. I keep telling her mature love is about putting out what you wish to receive, and she agrees. Should I stay with her while she struggles to overcome her past?
--Mistreated
"Mature love"? At best, that sounds like a porn mag put out by the AARP or some old man's pickup line: "Something tells me you aren't wearing any Depends." The last person who should be pontificating about "mature love" is a guy who thinks he can lecture somebody into providing it. Even better, your student is a woman who treats your relationship like the revenge phase of her last one. (Her narcissistic psycho ex is gone, but you'll do.) If you want a project, buy macaroni and glue. If you're really after "mature love," you need a woman who's capable of sharing it with you. This starts with recognizing that "mature love" doesn't only involve "putting out what you wish to receive" but putting out what you don't -- and then running inside and bolting the door so it can't get back in.bottom of page