Really Old Men In The Hood

When I was in my youth, a lot of women I knew fell for bad boys. I'm now a man in my 60s, entering retirement. Amazingly, I'm finding that even women my age prefer bad boys. What's this about?

--Nice Guy

Since older women often end up dating much-older men, this leads to the question, what's the profile of the elderly bad boy? Cheating at bingo? Swearing on the golf course? Shotgunning Ensure? Some older women -- just like the younger ones -- go for bad boys because they don't think much of themselves and feel most comfortable with someone who seems to share their view. But even older women who aren't emotional shipwrecks can be drawn to the aging delinquent. It turns out that a bad boy's unreliability has a neurological upside. Neuroscientist Wolfram Schultz finds that unpredictable "rewards" seem to be the most satisfying for the brain -- maybe even giving us three or four times the buzz of the experiences that we see coming. So, as a nice guy, the thing to be is exciting and unpredictable -- without the downside of the deviousness, thieving, and unreliability. Use the element of surprise -- even by hiding small presents (tiny chocolate bars) or funny notes around her house (as opposed to a bag of unmarked bills). Ultimately, even thrill-seeking women prefer a man who says, "Quick, grab your suitcase. I'm taking you to Paris," and not "Quick, duck down. The cops are here, and they have a warrant."