Random Acts Of Silence

You advised a guy who "choked" when talking to girls to focus on saying things he finds interesting and fun. Well, I often can't think of anything smart or funny to say until the woman's gone. I saw the cutest redhead at the supermarket, and not wanting to let the moment pass me by, I blurted out, "Are you an actress?" She smiled politely and replied, "No." To which I responded, "Do you get that question a lot?" To which she replied, "Yes, I do." I had nothing after that. Smooth. Very smooth. After she left, I thought of a million witty things I could have said.

--Witless

My boyfriend hit on me by talking about a "kernel panic" (some kind of computer panic attack that fills your screen with scary code) -- a subject of slightly less interest to me than the projected weather for tomorrow in Hammerfest, Norway. But because he's very much my type, I didn't care what he was saying, just that he was sticking around saying it and, I hoped, working up to asking for my number. Most women know whether they're attracted to you before you open your mouth. If a woman's into you at all, you don't need to perform like there's a two-drink minimum next to the kale; you just need to ask something that keeps her there and allows you to regroup. "Are you an actress?" is less than ideal, as it comes off as a version of "You're HOT." She'll want you to think she's hot. But women tend to downgrade men who hit on them by remarking on their looks. Ask about something she's wearing or carrying or something in the environment. If she seems responsive, keep talking. If she's giving you one-word answers, it's a sign either that she isn't attracted to you or that you forgot to point to the cider when you asked, "Those jugs yours?"