Plenty Of Fishy

I'm a single woman who's just started online dating after ending a five-year relationship. I'm wondering when to mention that I only want casual dating/friends with benefits -- nothing serious. I don't want guys thinking I'm seeking one-night stands (I'm definitely not), but I also don't want to lead on guys who want something long-term.

--Newbie

A woman seeking regular commitment-free sex is a bit like a man just looking for somebody to join him for scrapbooking and a cuddle. Each might be telling the truth, but their target audience will find it hard to believe. In other words, it's best to avoid putting "not looking for anything serious" in your online dating profile. Some men will take it at face value, but many will see it as either a red flag (fake profile, a trap, etc.) or a "go for it!" flag to send their best penis selfie. Also, your profile is just supposed to be a thumbnail of you. You don't owe anyone your five-year plan. You could, however, ask to have a phone conversation before meeting and casually mention your recent relationship history. On the phone, you become a person a guy can ask questions of rather than just a picture with a profile. You can clarify what you're looking for and, assuming you don't come off sketchy or psycho on the phone, quell a guy's fear that "nothing serious" really means "I need a fling because the recently paroled felon I'm cheating on my husband with is boring."