Pair Pressure

What do you call somebody you're in a long-term relationship with when you're both middle-aged professionals who live together but aren't married? My (fill in the blank) and I are somewhat stymied when introducing each other. "Boyfriend" sounds transient, "partner" is business-y, "significant other" sounds cold, and "lover" is way too much information. Help!

--His Non-Wife

Have you tried "This is Bob, and we're in a monogamous sexual relationship"? Or maybe "Meet the one thing keeping me from dying alone and having my decomposing body go undiscovered for weeks." There's status in being married, so there's an understandable desire by those who are coupled but not under contract to have their relationships valued, too. Unfortunately, there really isn't a good term for introducing an unmarried partner, although some options might be: "My Yoko Ono," "my consort," "my constant," "my boy-toy," "my everything," or, during a rough patch, "my plus-one, Bob." But, do you really need to explain your relationship immediately? Frankly, if more of the smug married people out there were as honest and concrete as you're trying to be, they'd drop that convenient spousal shorthand of "Meet my husband" for something like "This is the man I refuse to have sex with. I've fantasized for years about strangling him in his sleep, but it's a tough economy and I'm in retail."