Must Love Dogs In Bed

The guy I'm dating says it's "disgusting" and "troubling" that I let my dogs sleep in the bed with us, and he refuses to stay over unless they sleep on the floor. Trust me, this is not a simple matter of buying my dogs a nice dog bed, but a matter of an otherwise great guy not understanding or respecting my relationship with them. (This happened with the last two guys I've dated.)

--Two-Dog Night

A guy can respect that your dogs are important to you and still feel that the ideal bedmate isn't something that spent the evening licking a dead squirrel and then going around sniffing all its friends' butts. If your priorities are such that you'd kick a great guy out of bed before you'd roust a Great Dane, you'd better understand and accept that you're narrowing your choice of men. You might consider whether you have some ulterior motive for putting your dogs between you and these guys. It is easier to have a "relationship" when conversation is "Woof," "Sit," and "Treat?" instead of "So why do you think you have issues with intimacy?" It's possible you're just one of those intense dog people, like the woman who had her French poodle's headstone inscribed "Disappointed by humans, never by my dog." Well, okay. But, I bet she never had a boyfriend who peed on the rug, chewed her expensive shoes, and licked up his own vomit.