Mommy Disappearest

After mutually ending a 20-year marriage that was more friendship than passion/romance, I met a man I love. We're considering buying a home together. The complication is my 16-year-old daughter, who's downright frosty toward my boyfriend. It's hard to be spending weekdays with my daughter and weekends with him, like I'm living in two camps. She's got two years of high school left, and it'd be okay with me if she wanted to live with her dad (if he were okay with that). Should I ask her if she would consider that? I'm afraid she'll feel really rejected.

--Divided

You're essentially suggesting doing what some people do with their pets. The dog growls at the new boyfriend, so she gets "rehomed": "She's really not working for us anymore. Here's her dish and her iPhone." Sorry, but "I'm just not that into you" isn't something a mother gets to say to her daughter. Divorce is damaging enough to a kid. Sometimes it's the best-case scenario -- like if there's constant high conflict. But it's extremely indulgent of parents to break up a family simply because their romance waned and the sex got kinda yawny. This is of no interest to a kid -- nor should it be. And what are you thinking now, what's a little more psychological damage on top of what you've already inflicted? "Honey, I know you wanted a car for your 17th birthday, but I thought I'd give you abandonment issues instead." You've got just two years until your "complication" leaves for college. You can either build a working time machine and go back and use birth control or act like a mom and treat your daughter like a priority instead of excess baggage keeping you from the life you want with your boyfriend: "Wherever do we put her? I guess we could store her at her father's for the next couple years..."