Meet Joe Blank

I'd really like the guy I'm dating to compliment me more. I know he's super-attracted to me, but he's not very complimentary, and it makes me feel that he doesn't think I'm pretty. How do I get him to compliment me without the awkward "Don't you think I look hot?"

--Insecure

Unfortunately, men tend to do poorly at hint-taking. So, no, you can't just stand next to the kitchen table in your cute new skirt after laying out Doritos in the shape of a question mark. But because male sexuality is visual, it's comforting to know that your boyfriend's looking across a party at you and thinking "I want you" and not "I want you to move over so I can see that hot woman behind you." And it turns out that complimenting you is actually good for him, too. Research on gratitude by psychologist Sara Algoe suggests that the stock-taking that goes into a person's expressing appreciation for their partner works as a sort of emotional Post-it note, reminding them of how good they have it. And the appreciation itself tends to leave both partners feeling more bonded and satisfied with the relationship. Instead of fishing for a compliment in the moment -- yicky and humiliating -- take advantage of how men like to know they're making their woman happy and tell him (and remind him, if necessary) that you love hearing it when he thinks you look good. But you might also recognize that he's been complimenting you, just not in a chatty way. (As you noted, "I know he's super-attracted to me.") And sure, there are men out there who'd be far more naturally verbal about their feelings -- men who haven't exactly walked a mile in your stilettos but have a pair that looks a lot like them in size 14 extra-extra-wide.