Mean And Hungry

Men apparently see the organic grocery's salad bar as the new singles bar. Sorry, but after a long day, I want to load up my container in peace, not get hit on with "So, what's on the menu tonight?" or "You know, I make a mean kale salad." (Didn't know, don't care.) I'm getting so annoyed at this always happening that I'm tempted to say to the next guy, "What makes you think I want to have a conversation with you?"

--Girl, Interrupted

Sadly, shopping local often involves ducking the locals. (If only the salad bar came with a sleaze guard.) Though you could pelt these guys with croutons or cutting remarks, venting anger actually makes it worse -- biochemically and psychologically. Wearing a big rock on your finger should stop some men from approaching, and mentioning "my husband" should chase away any who already have. You'll ultimately feel better if you make the tiny effort to ditch them with dignity; treat them like they have value as human beings (if annoying ones) and like their feelings matter. You might also consider yourself lucky. The day may come when men look at you with all the longing they have for a bench. At that point, you'll still be complaining: "What's the world come to when a little old lady spends six hours getting a box of sprouts without attracting a single guy wanting to do wheatgrass shots off her abs?"