Man Overbored

I love my girlfriend and try to be good to her. However, her folks came to visit, and she thinks I was rude because I seemed uninterested and was on my phone the whole time. I told her that I think her parents are boring. I was just being honest. She got really mad. Am I supposed to lie about being entertained by her parents?

--The Boyfriend

There comes an age when other children's parents shouldn't have to hire monkeys and birthday clowns. Twenty-some years ago, in the hospital maternity ward, your girlfriend's mom and dad heard the wonderful news -- and it wasn't, "It's an iPhone!" So, when her folks are visiting, there's a reasonable expectation that, yes, you would redirect your attention from "Words With Friends" to words with parents. Surely, this is not news to you -- or really anyone whose brain has not been relocated to a jar. So you might ask yourself whether this ignore-athon of yours reflects some subconscious desire to sabotage your way out of the relationship. If that's not the case, consider something the late German social psychologist Erich Fromm pointed out: "To love somebody is not just a strong feeling -- it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise." In other words, loving someone is something you do. Tragically, this acting lovingly business may sometimes require you to put your entertainment needs second -- even if the only way to survive the crushing tedium of being with your girlfriend's folks is to spend the evening secretly pacing the floater in your right eye.