Making Shove Last

My wife of five years wants us to go to couples counseling. We've been fighting a lot these past two years, but I don't think that's reason to talk to some stranger about our issues. We love each other. Shouldn't that be enough for us to work through things together?

--Do-It-Yourself-er

Is this also your approach to a broken leg? "Who needs some stranger with a medical degree? Lemme see what I got in the garage." Or when your house is burning down: "I see no reason to invite some stranger from the fire department into my life." Love might be the answer to some things, like who to get chocolate for on Valentine's Day, but it doesn't make you a great communicator. When you aren't getting through to each other on your own, the wise (and courageous) thing to do is seek help. This does require letting go of the need to be right and overcoming qualms about being judged. But, exposing what isn't working is your best shot at fixing things...much as you'd probably rather stamp your feet and insist, "Everything I need to know about being married I learned in kindergarten!" (Apparently, "Don't eat paste" is a little-known cure for everything from financial woes to erectile dysfunction.)