Life Is Methy

My girlfriend had a drug problem but claimed she'd been clean for seven years. It turns out she's been using for the entire year we've been together. Two months ago, she went to rehab. I thought she was doing all right afterward, but then she admitted that she'd twice gotten high and had sex with a guy she met at rehab. I think I can forgive her, but I'm wondering whether I can ever believe her again.

--Duped

Random urine tests can say a lot about a person, like that she either got the dog to pee into a cup or could one day give birth to a fine litter of Labradoodles. Drug addicts lie. Yours has been lying to you from day one, and not about inconsequential stuff. (Don't run to get an HIV test; grow wings and fly there.) Your girlfriend's motto appears to be "Just say 'Don't mind if I do!' to drugs." You could say she's been cheating on you with drugs. Actually, she's been cheating on drugs with you. Make no mistake about what comes first and who comes second. That's not going to change overnight -- and maybe not ever. You can someday have a loving, mutual relationship -- once you find a partner whose moments of painful honesty involve admitting to stuff like scraping your new car getting into the garage, not "Oh, I had sex with a crackhead I met in rehab. And how was your day?"