Leaf Him Alone!

Pot is legal where I live, and it helps ease my knee pain from years of running. I've noticed that it also makes me feel more sensual. I want to share the marijuana experience with my boyfriend when we make love, but he says pot (even the "energizing" strains) makes him "inert" and "obsessively analytic." How do I get him to be more open-minded?

--Merry Jane

Pot does open your boyfriend's mind -- to a four-hour rumination on the meaning of burritos. Welcome to what biologist Ernst Mayr called "human variability" -- the existence of individual differences. We see it in how some of us enjoy a surprise kick of peanut butter in our chocolate milkshake, while for others, it's "Wow...look how I've swelled up, just like a human balloon." Likewise, research on the cognitive impact of pot by neuroscientist Antonio Verdejo-Garcia shows varying effects on research participants' "sustained attention" (among other things) -- in line with which one of two genotypes they have. Consider that being nagged to start smoking pot is probably as annoying as being nagged to stop. Sure, you have the best of intentions -- sharing your sensual experience with him. And, if he smokes pot, you can -- after he stops communing with the rug, asking the little fibers, "Did you ever consider that the tortilla is the perfect metaphor for human consciousness?"