Keep Yore Big Trap Shut

Twenty-five years ago, when I was 18, I had a several-month affair with an older married woman, ending when I met my wife. The woman's still with her husband, who still hates me. My wife knows nothing about the affair, but we live in a small town and are starting to run into these two at parties. Should I reveal any of this to our mutual friends? It would make things less awkward when we're all together.

--Boy Toy Of Yore

Yes, nothing to make small-town life less socially awkward than standing up at some event, clinking your glass with a butter knife, and announcing, "Guess whose wife I had sex with!" Come on, what you're really interested in lessening is your load of guilt by opening up a really old can of worms and passing them around at parties. Sorry, Kitten. Part of the job description of being a 43-year-old man is living with your mistakes -- terrible as it must be, getting the occasional squinty-eye or cold shoulder from the guy who came home to your acid-washed jeans on his bedroom floor.