Jurassic Spark

I'm a 45-year-old woman, and my new boyfriend is 30. I look good for my age, but I keep making "old" jokes, which he finds disturbing. Although he seems really into me, I guess I'm worried that a much younger man won't be around for long.

--Mrs. Robinson

When you've got a bit of funny clawing to get out of its pen, it's tempting to undo the latch: "Waiter, a glass of chardonnay for me and a box of crayons for my date." But consider that some jokes are jokes and some are fear with a laugh track. Your fears that this won't last aren't exactly unfounded. Men evolved to be attracted to signs of peak fertility -- youth being a biggie -- but some use older women as sexual grazing areas while between relationships. There are exceptions -- May/December pairings that make it to twin rocking chairs on the porch of the senior living facility. However, the reality is nothing's forever -- including relationships between two hot 22-year-olds. The trick to fully enjoying this (or any) relationship is accepting that it will end and resolving to have the absolute best time you can while it lasts. To take possession of older-woman sexy, consider that some men are into the sexual confidence women tend to gain with age, as well as what the French call being "bien dans sa peau" (comfortable in one's skin). Whatever you do, avoid regularly exhuming the late Groucho Marx to inform the guy of all the ways 45 is actually the new 75. If you're doing that, you might as well cut to the chase: Yank up your support hose and run after him with your cane, yelling, "Hey, kid, get off my lawn!"