June Wetting

My fiancee and I are getting married in Hawaii. She planned to have photos shot of us afterward, kissing in the ocean in our formalwear. I'm fine with this, but her dad is absolutely irate. We don't want kids, so there won't be any daughter to pass her dress to. Then again, her dad paid almost $3,000 for it, so I get where he's coming from.

--Middleman

There's her father growling, "Why not just flush my money down the toilet?" (Best that she not answer that with, "I actually had my heart set on taking it out to the ocean and drowning it.") Your fiancee is looking to get in on a trend called "trash the dress," in which the bride gets photographed, post-wedding, destroying her dress while running through muddy woods, playing paintball, frolicking in the city dump, or throwing herself in the ocean. In concept, I love the "elegance goes for a muddy stroll" photos. However, I think this trend is pretty horrible, even when the bride -- rather than the National Bank of Dad -- has paid for her dress and is thus entitled to do whatever she wants with it. Maybe a far more wonderful final photo in your wedding album would be one of another bride -- one who can't afford a dress or much of a dress -- walking down the aisle in your wife-to-be's $3,000 gown. You'd be kicking off your marriage with an act of kindness, and she could still do the shot in the ocean -- say, in a $35 sundress -- or perhaps on the beach, dancing around the fire you light to burn all of your wedding gifts.