Jihad To Be You

A friend and I got sucked into the recent saga between author Salman Rushdie and his ex-girlfriend. She told a British paper he dumped her by e-mail and is still seriously hung up on his ex-wife. He retaliated by telling the New York Post the ex-girlfriend's "broke, unemployed," "an accomplished liar," and always carrying around "a large, radioactive bucket of stress." We're debating what to do when an ex, famous or not, publicly dumps on you. Your thoughts?

--Two Curious

Rushdie, who still has a fatwa on him for insulting Islam with "The Satanic Verses," has now made such a public jackass of himself that he's probably sending the jihadists MapQuest directions to his apartment. Of course, his first offense was dumping his girlfriend by e-mail. Not only is that rude, but any man with three morsels of sense knows better than to do it to a woman he believes is carrying around "a large, radioactive bucket of stress." When publicly attacked, the temptation is to leap up and offer corrections and finish with a little turn of the knife. It's a temptation to be avoided. Famous or not, the high road is always the wisest direction: "I'm sorry she feels that way. It just didn't work out between us, and I wish her the best." (Translation: "Hey, crazy women are good in bed. Guess I succumbed. Won't happen again.")