Jerk Stoppage

What's with a man who fathered three children with three different women but never married any of them? He always cheats on girlfriends and then just moves on to the next. Sadly, I was the most recent. By the time I learned how he operates, I was very much in love with him. I told him he'll end up a sad old man with no one to care for him, but he still won't work on our problems; he just left and is now with some new woman. When does he pay the piper?

--Still In Love With Him And Hating That

Unfortunately, "paying the piper" is just a metaphor, out of a folk tale about a town with a rat infestation and a mayor who tried to stiff the medieval cousin of the Orkin Man. As for your rat problem, the state may make this guy pay child support, but they can't make him come back and talk about his feelings. You say you love the guy. But you don't. You love who he pretended to be, like in one of those movies where Mr. Wonderful's face finally falls off, revealing the creepy space alien underneath. You've now seen the creep. Focus on that, and use it to avoid being fooled again. Even the cleverest deceiver will have little truths that leak out -- behaviors that don't match their words. We're prone to focus on the good things about a person, but it's essential to also look for the bad. It's the bad stuff that leaves you filled with longing -- for your boyfriend to be thrown in somebody's trunk, tried for crimes against womankind, and sentenced to spend the rest of his life being belittled on national TV by Dr. Phil.