How I Met Your Smother

My boyfriend recently ended things, saying he wasn't ready to be tied down. His mother adores me and keeps calling and saying he loves me and to just be patient. Should I be talking to her at all? Is this normal behavior for a 32-year-old man's mom?

--Confused

Stalkers usually want to date you or chain you to a radiator in their basement, not force you to choose between the calla lilies and the "Winter Blessings" wedding centerpiece. Though his mom's busybodying is weirding you out, it's actually an example of a common dynamic that evolutionary psychologists call "parent-offspring conflict." Not surprisingly, parents and children often have competing interests. In fact, evolutionary biologist David Haig explains that parent-offspring conflict starts in the womb. For instance, moms-to-be sometimes get gestational diabetes when their little hog of a fetus puts out a hormone to mess with the mom's blood glucose -- allowing him to suck up not only his share of nutrients but a bunch of his mother's share, too. What's in Mommy Meddlingest's interest? A nice, emotionally stable woman, just the ticket to her becoming a grandma -- sooner rather than later -- and not just to newborns that bark. But what's in Sonny Boy's interest? Well, maybe an endless string of sexfriends. If his mom's calls make you uncomfortable, set boundaries -- kindly! (Say you appreciate her efforts but prefer that she stop intervening.) Ironically, it's parents keeping lovers apart that tends to bring them together (the "Romeo and Juliet effect") -- as opposed to the tack his mom's taking: Yes, someone's rented the apartment directly across from yours, and they're waving at you. Wait -- is that...?