Hat Crime

My boyfriend of six months lives an hour away. We've had weekend overnights, but now he wants to come visit for an entire week. I'm super-excited but -- don't laugh -- worried about his seeing me in my shower cap. (My hair takes 45 minutes to blow-dry, so I wash it only once a week.) My ex-husband used to make fun of me for wearing it, telling me how unsexy and stupid-looking it was. How do I introduce my boyfriend to this thing?

--Embarrassed

Introducing your boyfriend to your plastic shower hat? Easy: "Hi, meet the end of your erections." Consider that there are lots of hot sex scenes in movies that take place in showers. Note that no woman in any of them is wearing a shower cap. This is not an accident or omission on the part of countless movie directors. Male sexuality evolved to be visually driven -- and no, not by the sort of visuals that scare a man into thinking he's walked in on Aunt Bea. (And -- nice try, shower cap manufacturers! -- calling it "Bath Diva" or making it in an animal print doesn't change that.) Yeah, I know, it's what's on the inside that counts -- but not if a guy doesn't want to have sex with what's on the outside. And by the way, it's hard enough to find a romantic partner attractive over time. Do you really want to give your boyfriend a visual obstacle course? Instead, be open about your deepest hopes, fears, and dreams -- right before you lock yourself in the bathroom with the elasticized stepsister of the plastic grocery sack.