Grin Acres

I'm an attractive woman with "bitchy resting face." Friends tell me to smile more so men will find me more approachable. I do notice that men like the happy, ditsy girls. It's only in fashion magazines that the "ideal" girls are scowling.

--Frownie

Of course the girls in fashion magazines are scowling. They're in wildly uncomfortable shoes, and they haven't had a hamburger since childhood. The thing is, happy resting face can come with problems of its own. Social psychologist Antonia Abbey found that men can misread a woman's mere friendliness "as a sexual come-on." This seems especially true of smiling -- to the point where 12 female Safeway workers filed grievances over the supermarket chain's "smile-and-make-eye-contact" rule, which had led a number of male customers to believe these women wanted to bag more than their beer and Cheerios. So, conversely, yes, you may be missing opportunities with guys who mistake your "I want to have sex with you" scowl for an "I'd like you to go drown yourself" scowl. But really, all you need to do is be conscious of the power of a smile and, when you like a guy, look right at him and turn it on -- kind of like flashing your brights. You're basically putting a sign on the door -- "Open for business! Come on in!" -- correcting the message sent by your default glare: "Closed for renovations. And there's a vagrant living in the hallway who may stab you."