Grime And Punishment

My friends are slobs. They have huge, overflowing recycling piles, several-day-old plates of crusty food in various rooms, heaps of dirty laundry, random nails and screwdrivers across the floor from unfinished projects, and dirt and dead bugs behind small appliances in their kitchen. They also have a newborn baby. Aside from the mess, they're excellent parents, but if Child Services ever showed up, I'm certain they'd take the kid. Should I say something?

--Concerned

Just because they're slobs doesn't mean they'll let the kid crawl through a field of rusty nails (on his way to lick all the outlets and get his little fist around Baby's First Oxycodone). It is possible that their protective parent hard-wiring will fire up, and they'll make their place more "shabby chic" than "recently ransacked." In case they don't, you and a few friends could offer your collective help to "babyproof" the home ("babyproof" being easier on the ego than "Why not just give the kid a nail gun to play with and be done with it?") On the bright side, being too clean (I'm talking to you, Purell freaks) might negatively affect a child's defenses against pathogens. According to behavioral ecologist Marlene Zuk, kids with pets, kids who go barefoot, and kids living on farms get sick less and have a lower incidence of allergies and asthma. Unfortunately, researchers have yet to find evidence that snacking on wood glue or teething on a variety of Phillips-head screwdrivers bolsters the immune system.