Gregory Pecs

I'm a 35-year-old straight man in really good shape. I'm online dating, and want to post a picture of myself shirtless. A female co-worker says no way; women will be totally turned off. Really?

--Best Side Forward

Take your cue from women's magazines, which are wildly lacking in shots of men with greased pecs chopping wood and other popular gay calendar outtakes. While men are turned on by photos of the scantily clad opposite sex, that's just not what works for women. In fact, for most women, a man who shows off his body seems girly, and sends the message that he's vain: "I usually take my mirror on dates, but maybe I can make room for you!" Because women seeking men generally prioritize success over looks, that's what you should be flexing, with subtlety, in your profile. It is a plus if you have the V-shaped body women favor -- broad shoulders tapering to a narrow waist -- but that'll come across just fine in a T-shirt and jeans. If you post a shirtless photo, your shirtlessness should seem incidental, like someone just happened to have a camera at beach volleyball...not like your shirt just happened to be off when you stepped in front of your hand which just happened to be holding your camera.