Glue In The Dark

Last week, I went out with a guy I met on a dating site. He was very attentive and affectionate, and he even texted me the next day. Well, I think I screwed up, messaging him at the same frequency and intensity as before our first date, which was quite a lot, and mentioning seeing him again before he suggested it. His responses were infrequent and short. I haven't heard from him for five days, and he hasn't made plans for a second date. Is there any way to remedy this? Should I message him with some witty banter?

--Faux Pas?

Sadly, our genes have not been introduced to Gloria Steinem. As I frequently explain, there's a problem with a woman overtly pursuing a man, and it goes back millions of years. It comes out of how sex leaves a man with about a teaspoon less sperm but can leave a woman "with child" (an adorable term that makes pregnancy sound like a quick trip to the drugstore with someone under 10). From these rather vastly differing costs, explain evolutionary psychologists David Buss and David Schmitt, come differing sexual strategies. Women evolved to be the choosier sex -- looking for men to show signs they're willing and able to commit themselves and their resources -- and men coevolved to expect to work to persuade them. So, when women turn the tables and act like the, well, chase-ier sex, it sends a message -- of the "FREE!!! Please take me" variety you'd see taped to a toaster somebody's put out on the curb. In other words, no, do not contact him. Not even with "witty banter." Seeming amusingly desperate is not any more of a selling point. The way you "remedy" this is by turning it into a learning experience. In the future, sure, go ahead and be flirtatious -- just not with the, um, eagerness of that guy in the hockey mask chasing people through the woods with a machete.