Girl Loves Oy

I'm a woman who wants a serious relationship, and a happily married friend is urging me to go on Jdate. I'm not Jewish and not interested in converting. Wouldn't people be mad I'm on there?

--Husband-Seeking

Men on FarmersOnly would be understandably annoyed if I posted a profile there, as my idea of farming is keeping a houseplant alive for more than a year. But this site is called Jdate, not JewsOnly. Sure, some will be annoyed to find a nice non-Jewish girl like you there, but there are others -- like atheists from Jewish backgrounds and not-very-observant Jews -- who might not find it a deal breaker. Uh, that is, until they register the reality of inviting mom, dad, and bubbe over for Christmakkah. Cognitive neuroscientist Michael Gazzaniga estimates that 98 percent of our brain's activity is subconscious -- including some of our decision-making. A man seeking a relationship can have his short-term mating standards triggered without his knowing it while going through women's profiles online. Not exactly surprisingly, evolutionary psychologists David Buss and David Schmitt find men in short-term mode are prone to lowering the bar on "their mate preference standards ... across an array of mate qualities, including personality, intelligence, and even attractiveness." Religion is surely one of these. Recognize this risk from being on Jdate as a non-J. If you do end up dating a Jewish guy, do your best, as early as possible, to suss out whether questions like "But what religion will the children be?" would lead to his ultimately following the advice of poet Dylan, uh, Thomasenstein: "Do not go gentile into that good night."