Getting Over The Frump

Is there a nice way to tell your girlfriend that you really don't like what she wears to come hang out with your friends? My girlfriend can look so cute in certain outfits, but whenever we're seeing my friends, it seems she dresses more conservatively, and often, she really looks kind of frumpy. I'm not looking for her to look like a stripper. I just want her to look as good as she does when she's out with her friends or we're out together.

--Holding Back

A woman can go a little too far in trying to avoid crossing the border from sexy to slutty -- all the way over to "sturdy Amish woman about to churn butter." Chances are, your girlfriend thinks she's protecting you -- keeping you from looking bad in the eyes of your friends or from worrying that she's covertly shopping for your replacement. Unfortunately, women don't always understand the workings of competition between men. Basically, it's good to get the girl. It's even better if your guy friends and any passing male strangers hate you a little for it. To get your girlfriend to dress a little more "Mad Men" than Ma from "Little House on the Prairie," pose a question to her with a compliment folded in: "Hey, can I ask you something? You dress so cute when it's just us hanging out. It seems like you feel the need to dress more conservatively when we're out with my friends." Explain that she really doesn't have to do that, and add, "I just want everyone to see how gorgeous you are." The compliment will rise to the top, and she should get the message: You aren't asking her to to wear something that will have drunks trying to slip dollar bills in her bra, just something more in keeping with a night likelier to end in a game of poker than a plague of prairie locusts.