Flight At The End Of The Tunnel

I sympathize with "On Hold," the guy sick of girls saying they wanted to see him again and then not returning his calls. Why do women think it's okay to ignore a guy -- the guy they let buy them dinner...the very same guy they agreed to see again when he walked them to their car?!

--Been There, Resented That

When a woman isn't returning your call, you want to hope for the best -- that it's because she died, is still in a coma, or was kidnapped by Bolivian terrorists while picking up a prescription at the drugstore. But, you know -- we all know -- what no callback almost always means. And it isn't that women think it's okay to ignore a guy. It's just that lying and saying they'll see him again seems kinder and less awkward than being honest to his face. Sure, a woman could say something vaguely honest, like "I just don't think it's going to happen for us." But, the guy could end up pressing her for what's really on her mind: "You aren't as cute as I thought you'd be, and you chew like you're bad in bed." By the way, it isn't just women who'll say whatever it takes to close the door on a date. Men will pledge a sincere-sounding "I'll call you!" while thinking "You sucked the oxygen out of the room. Couldn't you hear the sound of my brain cells dying?" Shaking your fist at the sky because rejection doesn't come in your preferred form won't make it any less a rejection; it'll just make you increasingly bitter, making you increasingly unattractive to women. Understand that not getting a promised callback is a common side-effect of modern dating -- especially if it was a first date, especially if it originated on the Internet. When you're just getting to know a woman, make dates cheap, short, and local -- drinks rather than dinner. Hope for the best, but until a woman's getting into your car to go on date two, think of "I'd love to see you again" as an announcement akin to "I'm going to go home and give birth to a litter of squirrels."