Flee Market Capitalism

You recently printed a letter from a woman who had decided to stop dating so she could make better choices about men. I also decided to do this, though I haven't had her trouble in sticking to my plan. The thing is, since I stopped dating, I have been deluged with suitors. Coincidence? Or do men sense when you've packed away your desperation?

--Crowded

Men, like all of us, are most attracted to what's somewhat out of reach. Had Rapunzel been sitting behind an unlocked window on the first floor, she would have been just another chick with a hairbrush. Value is actually a relative thing. A lack of supply -- something being (or seeming) rare and hard to get -- tends to increase demand (as in, desirability). Consider the pricing of different sorts of rocks, and why you see Jared ads for expensive diamond rings and not expensive princess-cut gray speckled pebbles: "Just $5,901.76, for this lovely bit of roadside gravel!" Understanding the value of scarcity can help you transform how you act with men -- and, in turn, how they treat you. There's this mistaken notion that you have to feel secure before you can act that way. Actually, you can simply act more secure -- though it won't feel "natural" at first -- and you should find that men respond to you as if you are more secure. Combine that with a mindset of "I hope I like them" instead of "I hope they like me" and you should find yourself coolly considering prospective suitors -- as opposed to answering the door to a confused pizza delivery guy with "I cleared a drawer for you. Pick a toothbrush."