Fifty Shades Of Nay

I'm an in-shape, intelligent, funny 35-year-old guy with a good job. I went on a date with a beautiful woman. We had a terrific time -- wonderful conversation over a nice dinner. When I asked her out again, she said she thinks I am a "super-nice guy" but she just wasn't feeling the "chemistry." Well, it was only one date. Can chemistry grow? I'd like to see her again. I'm convinced I could sweep her off her feet if given the chance.

--Ambitious

You didn't get the job. Picketing the office isn't going to change that. Not feeling the "chemistry" is polite code for "I'm not physically attracted to you" (or, in really dire cases, "I'd chew through rope to avoid having sex with you"). Unfortunately, there's no sweeping a woman off her lack of chemistry with you, though you might sweep a lesser woman off her integrity by inviting her out for a slew of free dinners. Over time, you might even charm the woman into loving you -- kind of like she loves her grandma. But keep in mind that biological anthropologist Helen Fisher and other researchers find that physical attraction comes out of a person's look, smell, and manner. In other words, persisting when a woman lets you know she isn't attracted to you is ultimately a big ol' losing proposition. (You can try harder, but you can't, say, try taller.)