Fee Love

I'm trying Internet dating, and a friend said I'd have better results on a site with a membership fee. With so many free sites, why would anyone ever pay?

--Thrifty

The word "free" turns reasonably intelligent people into zonked-out morons. Tell people you're giving away free tacos (actual worth: 35 cents including labor) and they'll line up in the heat for an hour to get one. Offer them $1.35 to stand in a hot line for an hour, and they'll scowl and flip you off. There are good people on free dating sites. They're just crowded in among all the people who aren't seriously looking, but, hey, as long as it's free, they'll throw up a pic, kick back, and check their inbox when they're done swimming with the turtles in Galapagos. Sites with monthly membership fees, whether they're $50 or $15.99, draw those who are more serious about finding somebody, and give them incentive to hop to it. People say the best things in life -- love, friendship, moonlight -- are free, but so are the worst things: lymphoma, a really big overbite, and roadkill. If you're in any sort of hurry to get to the good stuff, it probably behooves you to pay the sorting costs.