Fade To Blackheads

My girlfriend is cute, but I've never really been attracted to her or found her intellectually interesting. Perhaps it's unfair that I've stayed for so long (two and a half years), but there's much I love and admire about her. She's compassionate, ethical, good-humored, and patient, and she treats me like a king -- cooks extraordinary meals, gives me backrubs and rejuvenating skin care treatments. Is there hope for us?

--Pampered

There's much you love and admire about your girlfriend -- like the way she plucks those little stray hairs from between your brows. Just think where you'd be without her. Well, probably in a sexually and intellectually fulfilling relationship, but with much larger pores. Maybe you believe that if you like a woman as a person, everything will fall into place. She'll get interesting. Sexual attraction will come. Or, maybe that's what you tell yourself to keep those cucumber facials coming. You obviously have minimum standards for a girlfriend. Hold them up to women you meet, and ditch those who don't measure up -- before they spend two years waiting on Your Royal Highness. Unfortunately, the love you now have will be hard to replace. Unless, of course, you can score an appointment at the corner massage place, buy yourself dinner afterward, and, on your way home, stop off at the drugstore for some Biore face strips.