Ex And The City

My wife and I divorced just over a year ago, and I asked my friends to stop being friends with her, which I thought they had. I just learned that a friend is starting a new job -- for which my ex-wife recommended him (knowing he was looking because they remained "friends" on LinkedIn). I'm glad he got a new gig, but I'm angry people are still in touch with her, since the marriage ending was pretty much her fault.

--Hurt

Good morning, General Pinochet. You apparently forgot to put the word out to local birds to boycott your ex-wife's bird feeder and order squirrels in the park not to take nuts from her. You don't get to tell grown adults who they can and can't be friends with. Instead, you trust your friends to behave like friends. It's a bit much, however, to expect everybody to stop being "friends" with your ex-wife -- to remember they once connected on LinkedIn and go click the button for "Off With Her Head." And frankly, in this economy, I wouldn't hold it against somebody even if they got their job through a LinkedIn connection to Charles Manson. The ironic thing is, you're the one who really needs to disconnect -- to finally decide to move on instead of remaining married to your resentment long after divorcing your wife. Try to remember, time flies "when you're having fun," not "when you're resenting your dog for not doing the noble thing when he's at her place and going on a hunger strike."