Ed Driftwood

This great guy I've started dating is doting and sweet but, careerwise, lacks ambition and seems comfortable floating by with minimal effort. Unlike him, I am extremely ambitious. Is it okay to date men who are still "figuring things out"?

--Driven

It sounds like your boyfriend is really going places. Mainly to the fridge and then back to the couch. A guy who appears to model his career trajectory on driftwood is unlikely to suddenly become ambitious. Sure, there are people who have a catastrophic accident and realize life is short and they'd better get cracking, but it isn't like you can wait for him to get into (and then miraculously recover from) a motorcycle crash to become the man you'd respect and admire. To avoid getting drawn into a relationship that's ultimately wrong for you, come up with what I call "Man Minimums" -- a list of essential traits a guy has to have to stay in the running to be your boyfriend. One of yours might be "shows potential and the drive to achieve it." A guy like this will experience setbacks along the way but then turn his wrong moves into arrows toward the right ones. So, yes, as a person who seems to value ambition, it's okay for you to date men who are still figuring things out -- as long as what they're figuring out isn't that you can reach for the stars. With one hand. And then roll over and go back to sleep.