Eat, Gray, Love

I am almost 50 but look much younger, and I'm noticing that a number of the guys who are pursuing me are in their early 30s. I'm flattered but not really interested, as I want to get married again and I'm thinking that these guys are too young to consider that and probably want to have babies. Am I a magnet for guys with mommy issues? What gives?

--Puzzled

Nothing like rolling up to your guy's band's gig and having everybody be all "Mike, your mom's here!" As for these young whippersnappers' intentions, chances are the only "aisle" they're looking to walk down with you is the one from the front door to their bedroom in the pizza box graveyard-slash-apartment they share with a bunch of dudebros. Of course, men, just like women, can get to a point where they're ready for cuddlyschmuddlywuddly forever -- which is to say, a relationship. However, evolutionary psychologist David Buss explains that there's strong evidence from a good deal of research that men (who don't have to worry that they'll get pregnant from sex) evolved to "have a greater desire for short-term mating" -- casual sex with a variety of partners. Buss notes that there are some stumbling blocks for men in short-term mating mode. A major one is "the problem of avoiding commitment." That's where you older but still hot ladies sometimes come in. Older women are less likely to demand a relationship with an age-inappropriate partner. Of course, older women are also likely to be sexually experienced and sexually adventuresome in a way younger women aren't. And, unlike younger women, who are often shy about expressing what they want in bed, older women can stop just short of going all Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Faster, you maggot, faster! And 3 millimeters up and a centimeter to the left!" The thing is, sometimes two people with the most casual of sexual intentions unexpectedly fall for each other. But if you and the young hardbodies can stay in the sex-only lane, your having regular sex might help you take your time getting to know dates with real partner potential for you rather than flying right into bed. Finally -- generally speaking -- there's the obvious plus in sex romps with the young Turks: fewer occasions when the manparts are like papier-mache fruit -- for decorative purposes only.