Dupe Dreams

I'm a 41-year-old male sports fan, and every girlfriend I've had has initially claimed to like sports. But once I'm all in, she admits that she never liked sports at all. Why can't women just be honest in the beginning?

--Bugged

Say you like camping. A woman who likes you claims she likes camping, too, perhaps believing that she could like camping -- not quite connecting it with everything she absolutely hates, like peeing in a hole and bugs that don't come in pink resin with a matching choker. Of course, women aren't the only ones who claim to be a little more woodsy or literate or...sportif...than they actually are. However, men tend to lie to get sex, while women tend to lie to get love. But because women evolved to be the nurturers and peacekeepers of the species, they are probably more likely to say yes or okay to stuff they're not very yes or okay with. (Some confuse being a pleaser with being kind and giving in healthy ways.) Men, on the other hand, evolved to be the competitors of our species and are more comfortable with conflict -- starting in infancy, when they're beating up the kid in the next crib. What's essential to figure out is whether the lie is a little "I like what you like!" stretchie or part of a disturbing pattern -- suggesting she's either a pathological liar or a gaping void looking to use love as Spackle. Expect hyperbole at the start, and ask probing questions to see whether a woman is truly into sports -- beyond challenging some other woman to a cage fight over the last pair of DKNY ankle booties in a 9 and a half narrow.