Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde The Salami

I'm a reformed party girl. I used to go out, get drunk, and sleep with lots of guys on the first date (if you could even call some of these "dates"). I am older now and am ready for something serious. But after hearing me talking about how I used to be, guys campaign for first-date sex. We'll start making out a little, and I get into it and end up doing stuff before I really want to.

--Regrets

No guy wants to hear, "I really like you, so I'll make you spend months jumping through hoops while catching a little ball in your teeth instead of having sex with you right away like I did with those 6,000 other guys." In fact, "I don't do that...anymore" is pretty much a challenge to a guy to try for the same deal the other guys got. So consider talking about the person you are instead of the person you were. In fact, you might avoid going into any real detail -- ever -- about the old you. As psychologist and linguist Steven Pinker points out in "The Stuff of Thought," the ability for a person to deny or overlook what he hasn't exactly been told is a powerful force. (No guy wants to think about all the ghosts of penis past.) You can also preplan to make it hard for yourself to cheat, a technique called "precommitment," recommended by economist Thomas Schelling. For example, because alcohol and moonlight tend to combine to form a waterslide into your bed, you could schedule your first few dates at a less sex-friendly time and place, such as 10 a.m. at the coffee bar. Then if you go for a post-date walk, at least it won't be "the walk of shame." Before long, you should find that you have a new habit -- ending dates with "looking forward to seeing you again" instead of looking for your panties under a guy's bed.